THIS COULD BE YOU’ BUT VEEKEE JAMES THINKS YOUR STANDARDS ARE TOO HIGH

In other news, everyone has been jumping on the POV trend for a long time now, but when it got to Veekee James' turn, she decided to break the Internet!

Dear CheckMates, please come along with your Akara and Kunu for this one because this drama is not one you should ignore. Why? Because when I heard it, I couldn't ignore it, and neither should you! Plus, everything I know about Veekee James’ marriage, I know against my will, so it'll be good to drag someone else into this - and you my dear, are the chosen one!

Now, I know you're probably here with your sword after reading the caption I used, but please, like I said, only come in with your Akara and Kunu. Because blood will not be shed on my rug! It's not like you're carrying Legend of the Seeker’s sword. The people who made that series have to explain to me what they had against finding bloodstains on the sword the main character used. No matter how many people that guy killed, you won't find a single bloodstain on that sword! What? What is it made of? Stainless steel?

I'm sorry, that's not why you're here; let's leave the Legend seeking what he'll never find and find our way back to the gist I have for you. 

So here's the tea: We all know that since the Nigerian fashion designer, Veekee James, got married, it looked like she became more popular for another kind of business, ‘Married Content Creator of the Year.’ And now, she's got the Internet talking loudly. This time around, it looks like she's about to set up another venture as a ‘marriage counselor.’

Since when?

Well, it all started when Veekee shared an adorable video of her and her hubby, Femi, exchanging kisses over a FaceTime call, like they were in some Telemundo series. You know, like those ones where somebody will be like, “I love you,” and the other replies, “I love you more,” and the first person goes, “I love you most,” and it goes on like that until they're arguing over who should end the call first. You get it, right? Oh, sorry! You can't actually. Just remembered you're single. Never mind. 

Anyways, the video Veekee posted would have remained content that people would see and go, “Awwwn, so this is love?” If only they didn't read the caption she used. As in, while her fans were like, “Aww, relationship goals,” Veekee thought, “Let me add a little spice!” She literally sent everything from ‘Aww’ to ‘Eweyyy!’

Will you wait for me to give you the gist before you rush there? (giving a bombastic side-eye). Okay, before you keep shouting, ‘What's the caption? What's the caption? This is what she wrote:

“THIS COULD BE YOU AND SOMEBODY'S SON BUT YOU LIKE YOUR MEN TALL AND HANDSOME WITH A PERFECT SET OF TEETH, 100% FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY, IMPECCABLE DRESS SENSE, VERY SPIRITUAL YET WITH A TOUCH OF BAD BOYNESS! HEYAAAA 🥹”

If you feel attacked, calm down! Don't take it out on me, please. 

Now, most of the VJ Army got the memo: “Oh, she's just joking! She's showing us that love is real even if he's not a walking checklist of perfection.” But the other netizens? Oh honey, they were not having it!

First off, some of them felt she was encouraging them to settle for less. They were like, What's this nonsense? Why should we settle when we can have tall, very dark, handsome, financially stable, spiritually enlightened men with a dash of bad-boy-with-a-heart-of-gold type? 

But wait, that's not where the pepper is! Where the Atarodo is, is when lots of people started claiming that the caption low-key embarrassed her husband, Femi. 

I mean, let's look at that caption again. Is VJ implying that her husband isn't tall and handsome? Because from what I can see using these two-sided glasses Father Christmas gave to me, the only time Veekee is head-to-head with Femi is when she's rocking her designer koi-kois. As for whether he's handsome? Beauty, they say, is in the eyes of the beholder. So don't ask me; I'm not the one beholding it. 

Now, talking about financial responsibility, should we assume Veekee is the one with the bread factory in the family, and Uncle Femi is just in the parlour watching feem?

Impeccable dress sense? Aunty Vee, as a fashion designer, were you attracted to Femi because he dresses like Merlin, who never changed his outfit till the end of that series, by the way? What is wrong with Uncle Femi’s wardrobe now?

Now let's get to the part where my head has been cracking since; VERY SPIRITUAL, yet with a touch of BAD BOYNESS! Is it that I didn't hear well, but when Sister Veekee jumped on the Suspect Challenge with Brother Femi, didn't she mention something about heads going down but not coming back up in return? More like too spiritual to give, but not too bad of a boy to receive. If you don't get it, forget about it!!

See, I'm not trying to bring your attention to all this so you can start shouting, “Some people too do oo!” because that's always the response anytime Mr. and Mrs. Atere post anything on social media, whether they be making lovey-dovey content, shooting funny skits, or simply attending events in matching attire; you people will still complain. My own is, what if Aunty Veekee was trying to let you people know that she didn't actually settle for less? What if she was just being sarcastically ironic? 

How? Okay, you check it na. Now go back to that caption of hers and tell me, the qualities she listed in her POV - be truthful to yourself -don't they describe her husband? So what if she's trying to tell us that she actually got her own version of perfection, and you shouldn't settle either? 

Look, we are all free to interpret things however we want. You can choose to say these ones married for content creation, or now she's giving ijebu garri advice on how to choose partners, or they're using their marriage as something to oppress people, but my own is, why are you feeling oppressed? Why?

Not long ago, we complained about only seeing negative marriage stories online and that we wanted to see thriving, happy marriages too, so we wouldn't be scared to jump into one ourselves, but now that we're seeing it, we have turned into online in-laws. 

Toor! It's not like I'm trying to attack anybody oo, but what is good for Lekki is also good for Ikorodu. However, one thing’s for sure: Veekee James sha knows how to keep her name in people's mouths. 

Me, I don't know if she's asking you to settle for less or use a stool to climb your shelf. Abi she's saying Brother Femi is a spare part that she's managing, and you should find your tear rubber. All I know is if I don't get up from this bed and start cooking what I will use to break my fast, I'll be the one in somebody's “Why you shouldn't fast on an empty stomach” POV. 

What? You think I'll just be here salivating watching you eat your Akara and kunu because I want to give you gist.

Ejo, I'll talk to you later!! I'll see you in Other News!