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Home/Stories/In Other News
EP 169 · IN OTHER NEWS

Toolz Says Elitism Has Messed Up Nigerians' Minds, But She Took a Loan to Buy a Birkin She Can't Afford.

In other news, Toolz says Nigerians have confused luxury with value, but apparently her own Birkin is now a financial project. Allegedly, she took a loan to buy the bag and is calling it an “investment.” At this point, the Birkin needs to start paying rent.

Edgar Eriakha
Published 29 Aug 2026 · 3 min read
Views:6
satire
Cover image for “Toolz Says Elitism Has Messed Up Nigerians' Minds, But She Took a Loan to Buy a Birkin She Can't Afford.”

In other news, Toolz has called out Nigerians for mixing up value with expense, but her own spending habits might tell a different story.

The media personality recently appeared on the Creativitea Podcast, where she criticised the way elitism has influenced how Nigerians perceive wealth, status and value. "Nigeria is a very, very interesting place. Nigeria is a place where elitism has, I think, messed up people's minds. So I think people, like, mix up what value is and just, it's expensive, or you can't, you're not buying it, it's because you don't have the money," she said.

(yimu like Adesuwa Etomi)

Toolz expressed concern that this mindset has resulted in people paying for products and services simply to prove that they can afford them, even when they may not be getting their money's worth. "So that for me is very, very annoying because what has ended up happening in Nigeria right now is we are not getting value for a lot of things. And people end up paying because, 'let it not be like I don't have the money.'"

(looks away like Phyna)

She further explained that people should not be quick to assume someone is poor simply because they do not own certain luxury items, noting that individuals may have different priorities for their money. "If you're looking at somebody and, oh my gosh, her bag's not a Birkin, oh, maybe she's poor. No. Maybe she's decided, I want to invest in this." She also challenged the assumption that a woman who has not undergone a BBL must be unable to afford one. "You're looking at somebody and the person hasn't done a BBL, and you're like, it's because she's what? You are the stupid one, you are the silly one," she said. 

(sips wine like Toke Makinwa)

But here is what the blogs did not tell you.

The real reason Toolz is so passionate about this topic is not because she has suddenly become a philosopher, it is because she recently took a loan to buy a Birkin bag she clearly cannot afford, and she has been trying to convince herself and everyone else that it was a "wise investment." She is not giving advice, she is justifying her bad financial decisions.

Edgar doesn't lie.

Source: One of Toolz's assistants, Shade Wellness, who confirmed she saw the loan documents.

Bella Shmurda was threatened to pick Olamide as the G.O.A.T. Read here: Bella Shmurda Crowns Olamide 'Greatest Afrobeats Artist', Insider Claims He Was Threatened to Say It. Listen to my podcast. Why Am I Still Single? Available right here on checkedgar.com.

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Satire notice

In Other News is a work of satire published by Check Edgar, a RagdeSpace brand. Stories, quotes, and events described are fictional and created for entertainment. Any resemblance to real statements is coincidental or exaggerated for comic effect.

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