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Home/Stories/In Other News
EP 30 · IN OTHER NEWS

Portable Has Already Spent Burna Boy's ₦20 Million. You Won't Believe What He Did With It

In other news, Portable confirms Burna Boy paid him ₦20 million to fight Carter Efe. The problem is that he already spent the money on something else. So I need you to follow this story carefully because I promise you, if you miss any part of it, you will not understand how we got here.

Edgar Eriakha
Published 26 Apr 2026 · 3 min read
Views:207
satire
Cover image for “Portable Has Already Spent Burna Boy's ₦20 Million. You Won't Believe What He Did With It”

In other news, Portable confirms Burna Boy paid him ₦20 million to fight Carter Efe. The problem is that he already spent the money on something else.

So I need you to follow this story carefully because I promise you, if you miss any part of it, you will not understand how we got here.

Portable — Habeeb Okikiola, the same man who called himself a baboon that lives in the zoo has finally escaped and has declared war on approximately thirty-seven people since January. He has come out to say that Burna Boy paid him ₦20 million to fight Carter Efe. Not metaphorically fight. Physically fight. With hands.

(sips tea like your aunty who already knows the gist)

Now, when I heard this, I had questions. Normal questions. Reasonable questions. Like, why would the African Giant, a Grammy-winning international superstar, be sitting somewhere budgeting ₦20 million for a Portable versus Carter Efe fight? Does he not have an album to record? Does he not have a world tour? Is this how we are allocating resources in 2026? At the end of the day, it is his money. And like they say, you do not advise people richer than you.


But here is where the story takes a turn that nobody saw coming.

Our sources, and by 'sources' I mean a man I spoke to in traffic on the Third Mainland Bridge who seemed very sure of himself, have confirmed that Portable has already spent the ₦20 million.

He did not spend it on fight training. He did not hire a coach. He did not even buy a mouthguard.

He spent it on developing his bar. Wait before you shout and complain. The name of the bar is Odogwu Bar. Odogwu is also Burna Boy's nickname. So you see, the money wasn't a waste at the end of the day.

(hisses like Patience Ozokwo)

The fight with Carter Efe on May 1st promises to be an exciting one. I don't know who will win, but I know the loser will either release a diss track or spend two hours ranting online about how the referee came in drunk.

Burna Boy has not responded. Carter Efe has, however, responded, but we cannot print what he said because we did not understand him.

Edgar doesn't lie.

Source: A man on Third Mainland Bridge. He had full confidence. We forgot to ask follow-up questions.

If you enjoyed this story, you will also enjoy the time Anthony Joshua came to Nigeria, and someone stole his phone at an accident scene. I investigated it. I found three suspects. One of them is on Twitter. Read it here: Who Stole Anthony Joshua's Phone After Lagos Car Crash? 3 Prime Suspects Revealed.

And if you have ever wondered why I am still single after everything you just read, so have I. Listen to my podcast, Why Am I Still Single? Available right here on checkedgar.com.

Edgar doesn't lie.

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In Other News is a work of satire published by Check Edgar, a RagdeSpace brand. Stories, quotes, and events described are fictional and created for entertainment. Any resemblance to real statements is coincidental or exaggerated for comic effect.

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