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Home/Stories/In Other News
EP 62 · IN OTHER NEWS

Jamie Vardy Avoided the "Juju Cream" Like It Was a Red Card

Jamie Vardy survived Premier League defenders only to be defeated by a tub of shea butter. Believing Ndidi’s skincare routine was straight from a Nigerian witch doctor, Vardy chose muscle pain and English stubbornness over "juju" lotion. Premier League winner, 100+ goals, defeated by moisturiser.

Edgar Eriakha
Published 22 Jul 2026 · 3 min read
Views:61
satire
Cover image for “Jamie Vardy Avoided the "Juju Cream" Like It Was a Red Card”

In other news, Wilfred Ndidi has finally cleared the air on one of football's funniest behind-the-scenes stories.

The former Leicester City midfielder revealed that teammate Jamie Vardy genuinely believed a healing cream used on injured players came straight from a Nigerian witch doctor. The striker reportedly declined treatment every single time because he was not about to let any "juju" touch his body.

(laughing and rolling on the floor like Bovi)

In a video shared on his Instagram, Ndidi explained that the so-called "juju cream" was actually just natural shea butter he brought back from Nigeria. Nothing spiritual. No incantations. Just pure, unadulterated moisture.

But the Leicester boys? They decided to have some fun with it. When teammates asked what the cream was, they jokingly told them it came from a Nigerian witch doctor.

The club masseuses would use the shea butter to massage injured areas. But when they suggested using it on Vardy, the striker quickly shut it down. "No, no, no, I'm okay," he said with full conviction. 

(Laughs like Erigga watching a Premier League striker choose pain over palm oil)

The story has resurfaced and the internet is having a field day. Meanwhile, Vardy is probably somewhere in England, still avoiding anything that looks like it came from "one Nigerian village."

But here is what the blogs did not tell you.

Sources close to the Leicester City dressing room have leaked that the shea butter joke went much deeper than anyone knew. Apparently, the players started inventing fake backstories for the cream. One told Vardy it was made by a witch doctor who only works during full moons. Another claimed you had to say a prayer before applying it.

The club physios were in on it too. They would bring out the shea butter with dramatic presentations, calling it "the Nigerian secret" while Vardy watched from a safe distance with wide eyes.

The funniest part? Vardy never caught on. Not once. He spent his entire Leicester career recovering from injuries the old-fashioned way, ice packs, painkillers, and pure English stubbornness. Meanwhile, every other player who used the cream was probably recovering faster and smelling better while doing it.

The real tea is not about the cream or the witch doctor. It is that Jamie Vardy, a man who has faced some of the world's best defenders and scored over 100 Premier League goals, was scared of a jar of shea butter. A man who has won the Premier League was terrified of palm oil. In 2026, that is the kind of content we live for.

Edgar doesn't lie.

Source: The Shea Butter Witch Doctor, Baba Mkinde Ifagbemi, who also owns a shea butter company.

There is an ongoing war between DJ Timmy and Timi Dakolo. Read here: DJ Timmy vs. Timi Dakolo: The Contract That Started a War. At least that drama had some paperwork. This one is just Vardy being scared of Nigerian skincare. 

Listen to my podcast. Why Am I Still Single? Available right here on checkedgar.com. To find out why I’m still single.

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In Other News is a work of satire published by Check Edgar, a RagdeSpace brand. Stories, quotes, and events described are fictional and created for entertainment. Any resemblance to real statements is coincidental or exaggerated for comic effect.

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