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Home/Stories/In Other News
EP 158 · IN OTHER NEWS

Ireti Doyle Says Move On, But She's Still Stalking Her Ex on Social Media.

In other news, Ireti Doyle says stop rehashing old relationships and move on. But the real reason she's preaching? A suya seller refused to give her enough onions last weekend, and she can’t stop obsessing over it. She’s not teaching relationship wisdom; she’s just projecting her onion trauma!

Edgar Eriakha
Published 25 Aug 2026 · 2 min read
Views:5
satire
Cover image for “Ireti Doyle Says Move On, But She's Still Stalking Her Ex on Social Media.”

In other news, Ireti Doyle has dropped some relationship wisdom, and the internet is paying attention.

The veteran actress recently shared her thoughts on why people should stop rehashing old relationships. "Not every relationship needs to be revisited and turned over and over again. Learn your lesson and move on," she said. The advice, while general, hits different when you remember that the actress finalized her divorce from actor Patrick Doyle in January 2023 after nearly two decades of marriage.

(sigh like Davido)

The couple, who married in 2004 and shared six children, have kept their split remarkably quiet, with Ireti only confirming the divorce officially in 2023 after years of separation. She has since explained that she kept the details private because "it's none of the public's business." Speaking during an interview on The Morayo Show, she advised women against airing their pain online. "Why are you bleeding all over the internet, madam? You're not going to win. So, who are you explaining your matter to?" she asked. She urged people to redirect their energy toward understanding what went wrong so they don't repeat the same mistakes. And honestly? She has a point.

(nods in agreement like Tonto Dikeh)

But here is what the blogs did not tell you.

The real reason Ireti is so passionate about people moving on and not revisiting old relationships is not that she has found ultimate peace, it is because she went to buy suya last weekend, and the suya seller refused to give her enough onions even after she begged him three times. She has been replaying the interaction in her head ever since and realized that if she cannot move on from a suya seller who shortchanged her on onions, how can she expect people to move on from relationships? She is not teaching a lesson, she is projecting.

Edgar doesn't lie.

Source: One of Ireti's friends, Vera Anthony, who was with her at the suya spot and confirmed she has not stopped talking about the onions since.

Brain Jotter opened a GoFundMe account because he was duped. Read here: Brain Jotter Lost Over ₦60 Million in Real Estate, He Just Opened a GoFundMe to Recover His "Refund." Listen to my podcast. Why Am I Still Single? Available right here on checkedgar.com.

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In Other News is a work of satire published by Check Edgar, a RagdeSpace brand. Stories, quotes, and events described are fictional and created for entertainment. Any resemblance to real statements is coincidental or exaggerated for comic effect.

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