ENIOLUWA FINDS LOVE BEYOND FOOD - OR HAS HE?

In Other News, media personality Enioluwa might have finally discovered a new passion for something other than food, and guess what it is? 

No, dear, it's not lip gloss. Surprise, surprise, it's not even a ‘what’ but a ‘who’! You still can't guess? 

Okay, since your senses are already heightened, get a glass of milk from the fridge; you'll definitely need it. 

Now, let's get to why we're here!

Whether or not you're a fan of Enioluwa Adeoluwa, you know he's actually all about two things: food and lip gloss. Like if you don't find Eni eating food, you'll find him reapplying his lip gloss or both of them. Because, I mean, while he's eating, all the oil from the food can serve as lip gloss for the time being. But honey, our beloved Lip Gloss Guy has got more than just a passion for shiny lips and a filled stomach? Oh yes, and this time it's for the Bloody Samaritan herself. 

Oh, you read that right. I'm talking about Ayra Starr! 

Enioluwa, who's been adamant about not wanting to be in a relationship, chanting repeatedly, “I am a man of war; I don't engage in love!” -has just dropped an update, confessing that, when it comes to Ayra Starr, he might make an exception and probably change his mantra. 

Who told me that, you ask?

(Rolls eyes in Enioluwa's tone) Well, duh! He wrote so himself! 

So, apparently, Sabi Girl, Ayra Starr, posted a picture of herself on a beach in Tanzania on Instagram, and Eni dropped this comment:

“Honestly, Ayra. (Like I say, the truth and shame the devil, Ayra - he didn't write this though, just interpreting for you.) I don't want to ever be in a relationship, but you just might change my mind. 😔🥹😍”

Could this be love? Nasboi left the group chat. Lol. And, oh, I didn't include the emojis; he did. 

No doubt, we all know Ayra Starr has that effect, okay? With her fiery looks, catchy beats, and undeniable star power, any guy could easily be caught in that net. And now it looks like Eni has dived into the net before she even cast it. I mean, who wouldn't want to be the lucky one to date the Celestial Being? But let's be real - Ayra and Enioluwa? 

What? That comment you're looking for, go and type it yourself!

Yeah, no doubt it's giving Barbie and Ken, or maybe more of Barbie and Baddie. 

My own is, I remember when netizens were tying Eni’s future to Priscilla Ojo (yes, actress Iyabo Ojo’s daughter, who is getting married soon by the way) and Hilda Baci (our Grammy - pardon me - Guinness World Record-winning chef, who apparently is in an open relationship), saying he was definitely dating one of them, but Enioluwa made it clear that romance is not on his agenda, and he is only dedicated to his Ph.D journey. 

I don't know whether his agenda was the 2024 or 2028 vision agenda, but can someone help me ask Eni if his Ph.D. trip has concluded, because it's only been a year since he started, right? Please, we need to realign Eni's thoughts so he won't start changing his pursuits from Academy to Ayrademy. 

I mean, this is the same guy who said he has zero interest in love and relationships. And suddenly, one picture from Ayra, and boom!… he believes the beautiful ones have indeed been born! Now my guy is penning down poetic confessions under her posts.

Celestial Madness is free!

But guys, wait a second, what's the big deal behind Enioluwa's wish to never be in a relationship? I mean, the dude didn't say he was going to eventually get into a relationship someday; his words were, and still are, that he never wants to be in a relationship. 

Is this a matter of someone hurting him, or someone else's experience already did? Abi, his type is not recommended in Nigeria? 

Torrh! Maybe he just has plans to get married to whoever he finds suitable without getting into a relationship with them? 

Or wait! What if he wants to become a priest? Okay, the thought of that is raising questions in my head, so let's just leave it. At least, he's hinted that it's possible to never say never in his case; that's if Ayra Starr is involved. 

But then, come to think of it, Enioluwa just might have a chance with Ayra Starr - if he'll probably accept to leave the lip gloss for her. 😂

But on a serious note. Do you remember that interview Ayra had with American singer and actress Coco Jones for Rolling Stone last year? Remember in the interview, Ayra said she wouldn't dream of marrying someone in the music industry. So, it could be that Enioluwa could score his chances with her, as long as he doesn't venture into singing. 

But then, if you still remember clearly, Ayra Starr also mentioned she has high standards when it comes to dating people. Like she's probably looking for a billionaire that will stand on a yacht and call out, “Habibi, jump in, let's sail to Dubai!” and not someone calling out, “The food has not yet reached my side o!”

So, Eni will definitely have to do more than just stay away from music to grab Ayra’s attention. Because this one is clearly not like his GRWM Giveaway Dates. Maybe netizens were right when they said he isn't man enough for her. What? I said netizens, netizens said so, not me!! Don't look at me like that!

But if you want me to be honest, I don't see any chance of Eni and Ayra becoming Rhythm and Blues; there's just too much comma attached to it. So I'll advise Dear Eni to focus on his pursuit as a Doctor of Philosophy and leave the Doctor of Poetry.

Yes, we're advised to never say never, but no offense, for this one, Never says never! If you didn't get me at first, I meant, Never says, “I will Never!!… Do such a ting!!” But then, I'm open to surprises. 

Until then, I'll see you in Other News, because the next gist won't write itself, will it?