Crocodile Tears

Okay, let me start by telling you a story I read on the internet before telling you the actual story I planned to tell you guys today. Some weeks ago, I came across this article on the internet by accident and got lost in it after reading about two to three lines. I didn't even know when I finished the whole thing, but when I was done, I was happy that I even saw the story in the first place. The story was about love, about marriage. About friendship. About how well we actually know the people we trust the most. What you're about to hear is a true life story, no matter how crazy it might sound. I want you to remember that everything in this story happened to someone who lived in your lifetime. So what happened in this article? What's the story? So this guy and this lady fell in love and started dating years ago at the university; not long after, they both agreed and decided to go up the ladder. They got married. The guy, a businessman and his wife, a regular housewife. After a while, the man decided it was best for his family to leave Nigeria and travel to China to learn the business of importing and exporting spare parts. Obviously, without mentioning his name, you can already guess that the man is an Igbo man. His wife wasn't so happy he was going to be away from her, so the man promised to send money to her whenever she needed it and visit her in Nigeria from time to time, and he did. He would come say twice a year and stay for like a month whenever he was around. Life was going great for them, until one day, the man found out that after 16 years of marriage, his three kids were actually not his. Yes, he was not the father of any of his wife's children.

Now I can already hear some of you saying, 'Edgar, that is crazy.' I need you to hold that thought. Because what you just heard is not even the crazy part. Of course, the man was heartbroken and very upset. He wanted to know the father of his kids. After investing and quarrelling with his wife and her family, he found out that the father of his children was actually his best friend, the co-founder of his spare parts company in Nigeria. The partner was not only eating at work but also eating at home whenever the man wasn't around.

Now, the part that really broke me was when I read a portion of the article where the man said, and I quote, "The only man I trust stabbed me in the back and got my wife pregnant three times.

While your mouth might still be open, the story hasn't finished. The man also said that the shock led him to a partial stroke, the loss of his company in Japan and two houses in Nigeria. His family wanted to take the case to court, but you know how the judicial system is in Nigeria; Ogun strikes faster and better than most judges in this country, so there was no need. This man said that when he recovered from the partial stroke and his loss, his wife, her brother and his best friend tried to kill him twice and even went as far as arranging for his kidnap but failed.

He said that when he confronted his wife about everything, this woman felt remorseful, went on her knees, wept, and begged him to forgive her, that it was the devil that used her. She begged him for one last chance, but obviously, he refused. He wrote in the article that for 16 years, he never knew his wife was a pretender and a great actress. He said he didn't believe her tears; he called them 'crocodile tears'. Now, here is the confusing part: he said deep down he still loves her and wishes he were still with her.

When I was done reading the article, I couldn't close my mouth for about five minutes. How can you say deep down you wish you were still with her? How do you love someone who obviously doesn't love you? Someone that pretended you were the father of her three kids, someone who tried to kill you. How can you love someone that even devil dey fear? What kind of love is that?

The moment I finished reading the story, I immediately shared it with my colleagues at the office and got different reactions. One of the editors said it was the man's village people that are doing him; one said it must be jazz, that the woman has jazzed him up. One said the story was fake, that nobody can be that stupid. One guy even said that if he were the guy, he would do everything in his power to kill the lady, kill her brother, and kill his best friend before killing the children and then killing himself. I was like AH HA! WETIN HAPPEN? I was confused as to why the guy was so violent-minded; it was later that I found out he had not received his salary that month, so he was only transferring his anger.

Now, let's talk about crocodile tears.

I went online after reading that article to find out what crocodile tears actually meant. Growing up, my teachers in secondary school would say, 'Stop shedding crocodile tears. Which meant, stop faking the tears or performing pain you do not feel. Stop crying so people will pity you.

I once researched the origin of crocodile tears, and I found out that crocodiles actually cry when they eat. Yes! Scientists have confirmed it. That when a crocodile opens its jaw and consumes its prey, tears roll down its face. Not because it is sad or in pain, not because it feels guilty. But because the act of eating activates the tear ducts.

The crocodile does not cry because it is sorry. It cries because it is hungry.

I think the man understood clearly that giving her one final chance could be fatal. Because I do not think she was sorry, I think she was hungry. Hungry for his blood.

CheckMates, what would you do if you found out your girlfriend or partner was sleeping with your best friend? Would you forgive the tears? Or would you remember that the crocodile is still hungry? What would you do?

Today's story is about two people I would have died for. My girlfriend and my best friend. And how I found out, in the most unexpected way, that while I was willing to die for them, they were very comfortable with each other. The lady I dated at the time and the guy I called my brother, my best friend. It is a story that made me doubt love, doubt people and most especially doubt women. Especially women who claim to really love you.

Now. This story happened some years ago while I was studying theatre arts at the University of Lagos. Now, for those of you who did not study theatre arts, let me explain something. Theatre arts is not just about acting. It is movement, voice, dance, music, directing, stagecraft, the full thing. So on your very first day, you already know this course is going to ask your body to do things your body has never done before. I was prepared for all of it. Except the dance.

While I was in class learning how to perform, they were at home perfecting their own performance. The difference is that my performance had an audience. Theirs only had one, and that one was me.

But we will get to that.

Now the crazy thing about this story is not what my girlfriend did but who she did it with.

There were signs I didn't see and clues I couldn't decode, but then again, I was in love, and sometimes when you're in love, you do things without seeing, and sometimes you make mistakes and fall. I guess that's why they call it falling in love. Nobody warns you about what you land on when you fall.

I remember the first time I met Tolu. We were having our first dance class in 100 level. Very interesting class. The lecturer had told us the definition of dance, the origin and the different types of dance. After the lecture, the lecturer said we were going to have a dance practical in the next class and that we should pair up, pick a type of dance and rehearse to present the dance in front of the whole class. He now gave one important instruction that the pair must be a boy and a girl, no pair of two boys or two girls.

Now I want you to imagine how that day would have been. We were about 105 in my class; One hundred and five students. More guys than girls. You do not need a calculator to understand what that meant for the boys in that room. It was mathematical elimination. So it was obvious that some girls were either going to dance twice with different guys or some guys were going to fail for not getting female partners. CheckMates, that classroom became a marketplace. A full Nigerian market. No price tags, just desperation.

The class got rowdy. You needed to see how men were begging girls to dance with them. There is nothing I did not hear that day; One boy told one girl to pick him because he is a good dancer and that he once danced in Psqure do me video. I did not know whether to laugh or feel sorry for him. I did both

Another one said that if this particular girl danced with him, he would buy her lunch and dinner. One even started showing his moves live so that girls would rush him.

While most of the guys were trying to make an impression. I was at the back of the class watching the whole thing like film. I did not even bother asking any girl because it was too obvious back then that I didn't know how to dance. Even the blind could see that Edgar had two left legs. I could not dance to save my life. Picking me to dance with you was like seeing failure and running to hug it. I had accepted my fate. I was going to fail this practical and carry it with dignity. Nobody was going to pick me. To be honest, I wasn't going to pick myself if I had to pick someone too. I dey mad?

But to my surprise, a young, beautiful lady walked up to me and said

"Hi do you already have a partner?"

I looked at her with shock in my eyes and said, 'No.' She moved closer and asked me

"Okay thats fine. Would you like to be my dance partner?"

I was confused. What did she see in me that made her choose me? I got up so she would see my bow legs and be sure it's me she wants to dance with. I had to ask her, Are you sure you want me to be your dance partner?

She said "Yes, Lets dance together"

I stood up slowly. I looked at her. She looked at me. She did not run. She did not change her mind. She just smiled and waited. CheckMates, that was the first time a woman chose me when she did not have to. In my mind, I said to myself, 'This one is different.

I was right. She was different.

Just not in the way I thought.

And that was how I met Tolu.

Now CheckMates, there is dancing. And then there is what Tolu did. Those are two completely different things. You guys need to see Tolu dance. Tolu is a belly dancer. This girl just knew how to wine her waist. It was like she had no bones in her waist. When we started rehearsal, sometimes i would stop and just look at her dance. She will say

Edgar stop looking at me focus. If we want to win together, you have to focus.

To be honest focusing was very hard. Her waist was like breeze.

During our first class, she asked me if I knew how to dance or had any background in dancing. Not to kill her hope in me, I told her I was a professional dancer but that after my surgery things had never been the same. That I could only dance without music. Or when I was sitting down. Or when nobody was watching. Basically all the conditions that make dancing completely useless. She started laughing. She knew i was joking but played along.

Okay no problem, if you say youre a professional then there is a lot to learn from you.

I laughed in swahili. Except you want to learn how to fail, dont copy me oh. Anyway. We started rehearsing, and it was fun. This is the thing about Nigerian universities and creative courses. They do not teach you the basics. They assume you arrived with them. They just show up on your first day expecting a finished product. The raw material is your personal problem.

We rehearsed for two weeks. Two weeks of Tolu trying to teach me things my body had no interest in learning. And then the day came. The moment Tolu and I walked on stage, I knew we were going to win. Because, we wore matching costumes, did makeup and our dance routine came with a story. We had five minutes to show our dance and by the end of the dance you needed to see the standing ovation. It was amazing. After the dance, the lecturer was so impressed that he gave us extra points, not because of my dancing, obviously but because Tolu did her thing with her waist at the end of the dance.

So every dance class became a time to bond with Tolu and i like it. We became close. Very close. Now my best friend's Nuel and Fela were also studying the same course. Fela performance was quite good. He isnt a great dancer but he tries. He knows how to follow instructions and make it look good. So his performance was very good. Now Nuels performance was terrible. If i had two left legs, Nuel has no legs at all. Nuel's partner was also a terrible dancer. Immediately they started, we all knew it was a catastrophe. The music choice was bad, the choreography was terrible, and Nuel was dancing like he was bitten by a snake. At one point our lecturer had to stop them, he didnt want to die of laughter. It was a good day for myself, tolu and Fela but a bad day for Nuel and his partner.

After the class, I was with Fela and Nuel when Tolu came to see me. She hugged and told me she was happy with the outcome. She asked me if we could go out for lunch sometime and i said yes. We hugged again and she left.

Immediately she left, Nuel couldnt hold back his excitement.

Ehn hen! Na wa oh. This one has turn into something else oh. Edgar don already find babe. Sharp guy!

Abeg oh! She is not my babe. Na just dance we dey dance.

Na so! The way she hugged you, i am sure she likes you and then she wants to buy you food on top.

Guy there is nothing there. Youre just over thinking it.

hmm! If you say so!

As i had the conversation with Nuel, i noticed Fela was quiet. I asked him what was wrong and why he didnt say anything. He said.

I am fine jare. I no too like that babe. She no fine, she just short, fat, she just dey anyhow.

Tolu no fine? You blind?

Is that what you call fine? Open your eyes bro. Better girls day. Edgar i hope say you no dey fall in love, this girl no get level i swear.

Edgar no mind Fela. If you like her, go for her. She is fine.

It was after this conversation i noticed for the first time that Nuel liked Tolu but Fela didnt. Everrytime i told them about her, Nuel will advice me to build the friendship, while Fela will ask me to leave her and go for other girls.

Bro, rumour don dey spread say you and Tolu dey date? Na true?

CheckMates. The rumour had spread before I even knew there was something to spread. That is how Lagos works. You have not even made a decision yet, and the street has already made it for you.

No! Na just dance we dey dance na. Where did you hear that from?

Guy there is nothing bad about you dating that girl to me. So far you like her. Let people talk.

Edgar you be my guy, i no fit lie for you.

Okay so na me go lie abi?

It got so bad that I made up my mind never to talk about Tolu around the boys. Every time her name came up, something shifted in the room. So I kept her separate. My time with her was mine. My time with the boys was theirs. I thought that was the smart thing to do. I was wrong. By the way, I was still having dance rehearsals with Tolu not for any dance class but for her personal dance projects. Tolu enjoyed dancing, i enjoyed seeing her dance so i always came through for her.

Life was going smoothly until one day. Tolu called me one evening

Hello

Yh

Sorry, did I wake you up?

Ehmm!

So sorry love. So i am at the back of the department. I am trying to practise my salsa i wanted to dance with you but since youre sleeping let me call someone else.

Where did you say you are?

At the back of the main auditorium where we usually rehearse.

I am coming

Okay!!!! Thank you so much love.

That was how i jumped out of my bed and went to the department around 9pm to see Tolu. When i got there, Tolu asked me to follow her; that she wanted us to rehearse somewhere else. That was how i followed her outside my department, outside the faculty and kept walking until we got to one building. CheckMates. I want you to picture this building. It was an uncompleted building, very tall and dark with no lights or security guards. There were no signs of any human beings remember it was Nine o'clock at night. Tolu was asking me to follow her inside. Now I am a theatre arts student, I have read enough scripts to know that this is exactly how people disappear. But I followed her anyway. Because I am a man and men make terrible decisions when a beautiful woman is involved.

I asked her, "Are you sure this is where you want to practice your salsa?

She did not answer, instead she smiled and asked me to follow her upstairs. I did not want to sound like a chicken, so i did. She kept going up till we got to the last floor of the building and then inside a room. This room was small, dark and quiet. The room had a small bed, a shelf and some old plates.

I asked her how she knew the place existed. She didn't answer; instead, she asked me to sit on the small bed in the room and feel comfortable. I did. The next thing she said was

Edgar, close your eyes.

My heart was jumping, this girl should not kill me for my mummy oh. I closed my eyes. The next thing she did shocked me like live wire. She took off her clothes all the way to her panties, played some songs from this black speaker in the shelf and gave me the best lap dance of my life. If you see grinding. Now I want to be very careful about how I describe what happened next because this is a family podcast, and my Uncle listens to this show. So I will simply say what happened in that room, in that building, on that small bed changed something in me permanently. I tried to touch her but she refused. She told me

Feel dont touch!

I was not feeling alright. My body was burning like candle. There was no fan in the room, so i was sweating like a he goat. I can never forget that day in my life. I first saw signs before i saw wonder.

When she was done, my body froze. I couldn't say a word. She smiled and said

"This is my way of saying thank you for everything. I wish i could do more".

I didnt say a word. I couldn't even talk. She got up from the small bed, put on her clothes and left. I didn't leave that bed for like five minutes. I went on my knees in that small dark room and I thanked God. Specifically and individually. I thanked God she chose me to be her dancing partner; I thanked God we danced together. I thanked God I picked up her call and came out that night. I thank God for everything. For bringing her into my life. Mind you we were just in 100 level.

The walk back to my hostel that night was the best walk of my life. I was not walking. I was floating. I was somewhere else completely. I don't know where the joy came from, but I felt fulfilled. I felt like I won in life. I felt excited. All I had to do was close my eyes and relive the moments. See her grind me in her underwear. I couldn't wait to tell the boys.

Immediately, I got into my room in the hostel. I called Nuel to come to my room. I and fela stayed in the same room. Immediately Nuel got in. I told them everything. How she called me, how we went to the building and how she took off her clothes. Nuel was jumping up and down in excitement. He coudlnt believe it. Fela wasnt impressed instead he got upset.

Is that why you woke me up? That girl wey no fine.

Fela you dey mad. Edgar tell me the story jare. Did you guys pipe? You knack am?

Abeg make una go Nuel room. I no one hear this rubbish abeg. I wan sleep.

CheckMates. My best friend. My brother. The man I shared a room with. Told me to leave his room because I was telling him about the best night of my 100 level life. He was not happy. He was not excited for me. He just wanted to sleep.

I did not understand it then. I understand it now.

That was how we left Fela's room.

That night, and for a long time after, one question kept replaying in my head. Why did Fela dislike Tolu this much? Tolu was actually pretty. Anyone with functional eyes could see that. But Fela kept insulting her looks every chance he got and it was starting to bother me. Not in an obvious way. Just that quiet kind of bothering that sits in the back of your mind and refuses to leave.

So one day I asked Tolu directly.

Is there anything going on between you and Fela?

Going on like how?

Like, I noticed he does not like you. Whenever I mention your name around him, he gets upset and starts cursing. What is the history there?

The hate is mutual. I do not like him either. He looks at me like I am dirt. By the way, please tell your friend that he smells. Badly. He is stupid. And it is his sister that is not fine, not me.

Hey. That is my best friend you are talking about. Easy.

Sorry.

She apologised. But CheckMates, something about that conversation sat with me. Why would two people who have never spent real time together, hate each other like this? It just didnt make sense to me. Something wasnt adding up.

Now. Tolu and I did not date in 100 level. We did not date in 200 level either. We were friends. Close friends, even if the whole world wanted us to date, we always felt it wasn't the right time. You know how you just know that dating that close friend of yours will ruin the friendship. Like there are people who are just better off as friends.

We finally crossed that line in 300 level. Why it took two whole years is a story for another episode entirely, and trust me, it is a good one.

Now dating Tolu wasnt the easiest thing. Remember we were course mates and that led to two major problems. One, I saw her everyday. It became too much. Every. Single. Day. At Rehearsals. Classes. Drama practicals. Department events. Productions. There is no break. There is no distance. There is no mystery. You are always in each other's space, and after a while, that closeness, the same closeness that felt like a blessing at the beginning, starts to feel like a pressure. The second issue was that we were both studying theatre arts. A course where our lecturers told us our bodies are nothing but tools.

CheckMates, I need you to understand something about studying theatre arts. In this department, physical touch and closeness are not optional. It is compulsory. You have to touch people. People will touch you in places you do not even like to be touched. And when you complain, they will say youre not a professional actor. Remember your body is a tool.

But somewhere along the line, the lines between performance and reality started to blur. And I could not always tell which side of the line Tolu was on.

During drama classes, I would see her with other guys. Holding hands and cuddling. The men will be touching her in places only I should touch or at least her husband. I didn't like it. I am a calm person. I do not like wahala. But I started asking questions.

Who is that guy you were rehearsing with today?

That's Samson. We were rehearsing a scene.

The way you held his hands and looked into his eyes. Why was he touching your butt?

It is in the script. He is my lover in the script. That is the scene.

And the laughing?

Edgar. Are jealous of a stage play?

I am not jealous. I am observing.

Observe something else please.

CheckMates. She told me to observe something else and walked out on me. In my own relationship. I swallowed it. I didn't say anything. She told me the relationship can only work if I trust her, and I agreed.

I trusted her. She did so many crazy things that made me question her love for me like the time she kissed one guy on stage. Now i and tolu have kissed so many times but she has never kissed me like that before. The way she kissed that guy on stage, fela had to ask me if we were still dating because the kiss was too real. I didnt say anything. After all, they were acting and i have to trust my babe. I kept quiet.

Fela woulf call me randomly and tell me he saw my babe with a guy outside school. That he suspects she is doing something sexual with the person. I will be upset, i will call my babe and she will tell me she is having a performance outside. That it is only a rehearsal. I will swallow that anger and again trust my babe.

Life was going gently until 400 level when she did something i just couldnt swallow.

In 400 level, Fela and I got an apartment together. Off campus. Just the two of us. Our own space. We tried balloting for hostel space but we didnt get so we decided to get a space outside school. The place was somewhere around Shomolu. We cleaned the place, painted it and moved in like brothers.

Tolu was still my girlfriend in 400 Level. Although we had broken up so many times between the years. You know how university love can be sometimes. Anyways, we were still dating at the time. By the way, Fela and Tolu still disliked each other a lot. And as the years passed, that hatred did not cool down. It matured. Like wine. Except nobody wanted to drink it.

Some months after we resumed 400 level, I joined a theatre company, Kininso Koncepts, and started spending most of my time outside school having rehearsals and performing at different shows. By the way, this is the same company that took me to the UK this year and last year. Same one. But back then, all that company gave me was long rehearsals, late nights, and a relationship that was slowly running out of oxygen.

I became very busy. And after spending hours at rehearsals, I would get back to the apartment tired and go straight to bed. Tolu was always complaining that I didn't spend enough time with her in school or over the phone. She was happy i had a job but was not happy it was costing us the relationship. I wasnt happy too.

So one evening, i got back from rehearsals as usual and got super tired. Fela had made one soft Eba and Okro soup but i was too tired to eat. I just flinged my things around and fell on the bed. And the way my body works is heavenly. I can sleep anywhere at anytime. I can sleep while laying down, i can sleep while sitting or even standing. So i laid on the bed and then i slept.

Suddenly my phone started ringing. Now i was too tired to pick. So i ignored it. When the call continued i had to check. I saw that it was TOLU calling me on a video call. I picked up. Not because I had energy. But because the last fight about missed calls was still fresh and I did not have the energy for round two either. Tolu had called me to give me her usual gist of the day.

Hey baby

Yh..

Sorry, were you sleeping?

yh…

Sorry can i talk?

yh

Okay let me gist you about what happened today..

That was how she started talking like a radio without battery. This girl told me different stories about how one guy was toasting her today and how she ate his money. As she was talking, my sleep was entering another realm. I was just saying "hm hm hm" so that she would not be offended or think I wasn't listening. Now Checkmates, the last thing i remember hearing clearly before my sleep moved to the final gear, which is gear five was

Hello.. Edgar. Are you there? Are you sleeping?

Everything that happened after that was either a dream, a revelation, or my tired brain playing tricks on me. I have asked myself many times since then which one of those three it actually was. CheckMates, by the end of this episode, you will understand why I still cannot fully answer that question.

I will tell you exactly what happened after the short break. Let me go and drink water.

Hello, Edgar. Wake Up! Wake up!

I was deep asleep, or so I thought. But somewhere underneath that sleep, her voice was still reaching me. Far away. Muffled. Like a radio playing in another room. Then her voice faded. And another voice took over. Fela's voice.

Guy pick your call. Person dey call you.

Again i was too tired to open my eyes.

Now, I dont know if this was a dream or like i said my head was creating it. I heard Fela pick up my call and i heard him talk with Tolu. What I was hearing did not make sense to the version of me that was still half asleep. But somewhere in the back of my mind, a part of me that was very much awake was already putting the pieces together. Fela and Tolu were gisting over my phone on a video call. Tolu was telling Fela about the guy that tried to toast her earlier that day.

The next thing i heard was Fela laughing at my babe and calling her a bad girl. I dont know what she was doing or saying but this what was i heard Fela say.

YO!!! What are you doing? Are you crazy? Move the camera back let me see! Please na! Take the camera down! God!!! They are so big and fine. I wish i could touch them. Can you hang the camera somewhere and bend for me?

When i heard that, i knew what they were doing but my brain didnt want to believe it. Was Fela sex chatting my babe with my phone beside me? Not possible, i must be dreaming. I thought my head was playing tricks with me. CheckMates, at that moment, I made a decision. The kind of decision that only a theatre arts student could make in that specific situation.

I did not move.

I did not open my eyes.

I did not say a word.

I lay in that bed, completely still, completely quiet, and kept listening.

Where is Edgar?

Reduce your voice. Reduce your voice. Edgar is sleeping right beside me. Babe, turn back, please. Let me see it again, I beg you.

Wait..what if Edgar is listening?

He is sleeping. Trust me. This one has gone!

Ah! See if you want to see some more, you will have to go somewhere else. Go outside or go to the bathroom. Its risky.

Bad girl, I am coming. Let me go to the bathroom. I also have something you will like ehn!

OKay! Hurry!

That was how Fela slowly got up and went to the Bathroom to continue conversing with my babe over the phone. The same babe, he called useless, worthless and ugly.

Fela was there for about thirty minutes. Thirty minutes! Only God knows what they did or said in there for 30 minutes. To be honest i did not care, the little i heard was enough for one night.

When Fela came back in, I did not move. He got into his bed. The room went quiet. He seemed tired and exhausted, like his strength was taken from him. While he slept, peacefully, like a man with absolutely nothing on his conscience, I lay there with my eyes wide open. Me. The man who could sleep standing up. The man who could sleep through an earthquake. That night, sleep simply refused to come near me.

Now I know what some of you are thinking. Edgar, why? Why did you not get up immediately and say something? And the honest answer is I do not fully know why. Maybe it was shock, maybe i wanted to hear everything, maybe it was fear. My brain was not booting properly. I couldnt say anything to him that night. After a few hours of thinking i slept as well. Like i said, i thought everything was a dream.

The next moring, i asked Fela if Tolu called me last night after i slept. At first he said no then i told him i saw in our whatsApp chat that she did. He now acted like he just remembered and said

Yes, she did. I picked and told her you were sleeping, so she promised to call today.

That was all?

Yes that was all!

Fela acted like nothing happened. I asked him why the call took 40 minutes if the only thing he said was for her to call me tomorrow. He now said he and Tolu spoke for a while yesterday. That they used the time to address the issues between them. I did not know whether to laugh or cry. Because somewhere between his forgetting and his remembering, I understood completely that what I thought was a dream had actually happened to me. In my own bed. With my own phone. While I slept right beside the man doing it.

Days passed, months passed. Fela was normal. He didnt say a word to me about the call. Instead he continued insulting Tolu, calling her a tall midget and that she is only fine because if her light skin. I watched him every day and I said nothing. Waiting for him to one day bring it up.

As for Tolu, Tolu was also normal. We spoke normally, spent time when we were free and talked about life whenever we had the chance to. Week later, i started running mad. Fela and Tolu made me conclude that i was only dreaming and the incident never happend. But just before i concluded it was a dream, I confronted Fela and brought it up.

Fela some weeks ago when Tolu called my line, did you two sex chat while i was asleep?

Fela was shocked. He acted like he didn't hear the question. I asked him again and then he could never do something like that to me that i was his brother and it was against the bro code. I told him i wasnt asking him to know if he did it or not, that i was asking him to find out why he did it.

Fela looked at me and started laughing.

Now this laugh was not the regular laugh you give to something funny or even nervous. This was the kind of laugh that comes before an apology. Fela started talking.

Edgar my guy no vex for me, I am sorry. I swear I am sorry. That girl forced me to do it. I didnt want to do it with her. It was the devil guy. I swear. At some point i got irritated self, No vex for me; I am sorry.

Fela looked at me and said it was the devil that she forced him. You? How did she force you? He was obviously lying. He knew I knew he was lying.

After some time. I forgave Fela. I want to be honest about that. The forgiveness wasnt immediately oh! It took some time. Weeks. Again Fela was my brother and I was not ready to lose that too. The friendship was never the same for a long time after that. It took years before I could fully trust him again. We reconnected after school. Now we are very cool.

I also decided to confront my babe about it. I was ready to forgive her if she was honestly sorry but you know how Nigerian women are. Tolu was a different story entirely.

I called Tolu. I told her we needed to talk. She came over to my apartment, Fela was not around. I asked her if she and Fela had any sexual relationship going on. Her response was fast.

God forbid. I cant even stand the sight of that guy. He smells like garlic.

I asked her directly. I wanted her to know that i knew what was going on.

Tolu did you ever sex chat with Fela over a video call the night i feel asleep?

Ewww! God forbid. I cant even do that with anyone talkless of Fela.

Are you sure?

Baby, Will i lie to you?

Fela said you did.

Edgar, that is not true. I don't know what Fela told you but it is not true. Fela is lying. Why would I do something like that? Why would I do that to you? Is Fela not your bestfriend?

Tolu, I wasnt sleeping that night. I heard everything.

You heard what? There was nothing to hear. We were just talking.

Tolu.

Edgar, I am telling you. It did not happen.

CheckMates. She denied it to my face. Even after i said I had heard everything and that Fela had already confirmed it. She sat across from me and she denied it. And when she noticed i did not belive her, she tried to play three quick cards. The first one was her usual style.

Fela is a liar. I cannot believe he would say that. I cannot believe you would believe him over me. So you dont trust me. Edgar, I am your girlfriend. Fela is just, Fela is lying. He has always been jealous of what we have. You are going to believe him over me?

I kept quiet. Then she tried her second card. She tried to take off her clothes and give me a kiss. I told her not to bother. That i wasnt interested in that.

CheckMates. I want you to understand what just happened. I told her I heard everything. I told her Fela confirmed it. And her response was to try to seduce me. Like that was going to erase thirty minutes in a bathroom. Like my body was supposed to forget what my ears had already heard.

Then she tried her final card. Crocodile tears. She started crying.

Edgar, I cannot believe you would think this of me. After everything. After all this time. I would never do this to you. I love you. You know I love you. How can you sit here and accuse me of this? Do you know how much this hurts? God sees my heart, I will never do this to you.

CheckMates. I watched her cry. And I thought about what I had said in the montage at the beginning of this episode. About crocodile tears. About how crocodiles cry when they eat, not because they feel guilty, not because they are sad, but because the act of consuming activates the tear ducts.

I did not break up with her that day. I know. I know what you are thinking. But I did not. I told her I needed time to think. I told her I was upset and needed space. And she, Tolu, my girlfriend, the woman who had just called my best friend a liar to my face, continued to cry with mucus in her nose.

I watched her performance. She was not only a good dancer but an amazing actress. Her acting that night should have won her an oscar if she had recorded and submitted it.

I let her cry. I told her I would call her later. She had her bath and ate, and eventually she left.

For six days after that, I acted normal. We spoke on the phone, had video calls, and i responded to all her messages. I did not end things immediately. I guess it was my turn to perform.

And on the seventh day, I ended it.

My speech wasnt long. I told her simply and directly that I could not continue. That I had heard what I had heard. That I knew what I knew. And that no amount of crying was going to change either of those things. I asked her one last time if she did it and she said…

Edgar. I did not cheat on you. God knows. So we are done?

Yes we are!

After everything?

After everything.

CheckMates. I want to go back to the question I asked you at the beginning of this episode. What would you do if you found out your girlfriend was sleeping with your best friend?

I will tell you what I did. I pretended like i was sleeping but i was listening. I waited weeks before saying anything. I forgave my friend, not fully, not immediately, but eventually. I watched my girlfriend perform innocence she did not have. I saw her cry crocodile tears. And then I ended it quietly, without drama, without noise.

Because I am a calm person. Calm and soft are not the same thing. And I had learnt, in four years of theatre arts, that sometimes the most powerful thing about a story is not how it starts but how it ends.

This was the end for me and Tolu.

As for Fela our friendship recoreved eventually. It took time. Real time. The kind of time that cannot be rushed. Although now, i am very careful about introducoing my love interests to my guys.

As for Tolu, I just hope and pray that whoever she is with, gives her the attention and time she said I never gave you.

And I hope you are real and true to whoever you are with and not performing like a hungry crocodile.

Why am I still single?

Because I studied four years of theatre arts and still could not see the performance happening in my own apartment.

Edgar doesn't lie.

And that's the end of this week's episode. I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, then don't forget to subscribe, and share this podcast with those who are single, dating or married. Rate the podcast and drop a comment. And yes, you can donate to support the podcast. 3 dollars will go a long way.

If you have a story to share then please send it to me through my email address edgar@checkedgar.com or for a quicker response chat me with the chatbox on my website www.checkedgar.com, I will respond in 3 hours, I promise. Edgar doesn't lie!